Fitness Tuesday Update - So close...

My Facebook status this morning:

Tuesday Fitness Project Update: Trying to get back to making this project my priority, get my schedule back (early bed, early wake-up) and get more exercise. Lost 1.6 lbs this week (whew!) for a grand total at the end of Week 26: 36.2 lbs. (5.2 lbs to go to my Primary Goal Weight!!!)


So. I didn't post here last week, partly because I was super-busy with the annual workshop on loss and art, and partly because there was nothing to post except that I didn't lose any weight, but rather had gone up nearly a pound.  I've lost that and then some this week, so feel like I'm getting back on track.

I finally started feeling Well about a week and a half ago-had been feeling so Unwell for long enough that feeling Well felt...well, quite odd!  It took me a moment that morning to figure out what was different.  And when I did, I felt a rush of intense gratitude. I try to hold that gratitude every day. I don't want to take feeling healthy and whole for granted - it's a major blessing.

People ask for pictures...here's one taken not so long ago, with me doing the "Look, I have a waist smaller than my bust!" pose of weight loss commercials.

...and wearing my luscious Round Trip Jacket.  I'm more than happy with the way my handknits fit the smaller me.  And am looking forward to knitting, oh, say a Medium or Large instead of an XXL-less knitting time, less yarn to buy. And yes, that was definitely on my list of motivating thoughts for staying with the Fitness Project!

Tuesday Fitness Update

Tuesday Fitness Project Update: Such low energy still - whatever is going around is tenacious. And yet...I've stayed focused on the goal and lost 1.2 lbs this week for a grand total at the end of Week 24 of 35.4 lbs lost.

I missed posting last week (.6 lbs lost ) due to inertia, I think.  I've been sick for weeks now- actively ill with some bug, probably not The Flu, for nearly two, and dragging ever since, then getting more actively sick again for a few days, now back to the low energy, low level of congestion. 

Beginning to wonder if allergies are part of the mix - I know I definitely feel....allergy/antsy when I have to crunch through the leaves piled near my car.  Also wondering if I'm not being as vigilant about my nutrition since I got so busy with fall commitments mid-September.  I know I'm not cooking as creatively or eating as many veggies as I was eating before that.

Stress level is high right now, too. Very high.  In less than two weeks, we'll be holding the workshop "Creating a Path Through Loss / The Arts as Healing Tools."  I'm chairing the planning committee this year and I just haven't been on top of it due to this draggy illness.

On the brighter side, I'm really pleased with how I look and how I move these days. I love how some of my favorite jackets & shirts drape and flow around less me.  And every time I bend, stoop, lean, reach...I am conscious of such a difference. There is ease, maybe even elegance...the movement drapes and flows, I flow in the movement.

I am beginning to have a different body sense...it has something to do with compactness, of a feeling of being more substantial.  It's as though I am more solidly connected to, radiating from, my center. When I weighed too much and when I weighed too little, that sense of being substantial and centered was absent. This is both a physical and a...spiritual sensation.

This is very interesting to me, that I can sense this clearly: I am coming to a place of balance with my physical body, my center.  It isn't about that number goal.  It's about that balance.

Fitness Tuesday Update: Low 140s

Today's Facebook status:

FitnessProject Tuesday Update: been ill for awhile, hopefully am edging toward wellness...still managed to do a little Tai Chi here & there, have lost another 1.2 pounds this week, for a grand total loss at the end of Week 22: 33.6 lbs.

Despite feeling crummy still after two weeks dealing with a respiratory Thing, I'm truly thrilled with how I'm slowly & steadily I'm moving towards that image I hold of a fit, limber me creating art, drinking tea, doing Tai Chi & finding ways to give to the community.

Yet I'm a tad depressed though about asthma, weak lungs - and how every cold I've gotten for two years now has settled in my chest and become bronchitis or almost-bronchitis. I had hoped that my wonderful new habits in diet, exercise & sleep might change this pattern. Well, I still have hope that they will.

As I look at my life over the past few weeks I had a lot going on. Mostly wonderful goings-on, the 3-day Arts Fest, a daylong fiber event with me teaching a triloom weaving workshop, family visitors -- and days with Sophia who was ill with a bug of her own and couldn't go to day care, some other family & financial issues....

So...a whole lot of good & bad stress. As we all know, stress leaves one vulnerable to illness, never mind the cortisol/belly fat connection! I'm going to be more attentive to stress management, I think.

Fitness Tuesday Update on Wednesday - No Deprivation

Here's yesterday's Facebook status:

Tuesday Fitness Project Update: Despite enjoying Saturday's chicken cherry chili, the pumpkin whoopee pie, the fabulous Indian meal at Martha's (which ended with Lana's brownies AND chocolate ginger) I still lost .6 lbs for a grand total at the end of Week 21 of 32.4 lbs lost. BMI now out of the "overweight" and into the "normal" range.

Yes, still going without the safety net of the food journal AND eating socially at special occasions AND still losing a wee bit. This is good. This is practicing for maintaining my weight at whatever winds up being my final goal.

The special occasion was a daylong "Celebrate Fiber" event out at Sycamore Farm on the east side of Terre Haute. I taught an afternoon weaving workshop, but went out early to, well, celebrate fiber! That meant I was there for lunch.

In the evening, Martha, the owner of my local yarn shop, had a wonderful dinner at her home for the shop teachers - takeout from the local Indian restaurant (my favorite of world cuisines.) There were five different entrees, a mountain of rice, naan, and a variety of...condiments, I guess...a sort of relish, raita, etc.

So. I think I made some wise choices and decisions. At Sycamore Farm, I opted for the chili offering instead of the local beef hot dog with corn slaw...and did not eat quite all of the serving. At Martha's I had a little of everything and then just a little more, one tiny brownie and not two, and I did not eat all I wanted to eat. But I certainly ate well and ate enough.

After ending the meal with a cup of raspberry tea and enjoying the company and conversation, I felt nourished and comfortable and had not one pang of guilt.

Not even over that little pumpkin bread whoopee pie I had at the Farm. (I actually ate only half of it then, the other half as my late afternoon snack.)

Fitness Tuesday Update - Weight Loss Should Be Easy

Today's Facebook status:

Tuesday Fitness Project Update: Still struggling with exercise issue. Still grateful for Tai Chi. Still eating without a net (food log.) Still losing steadily. At the end of Week 20, another 1.4 lbs released, for a grand total loss of 31.4 lbs.

That really says it all. I've done nothing this week to up the exercise. Nothing. Just going up and down the stairs a lot as I'm working more in my basement office/studio. And using my next pound down number as a sort of mantra. I think the latter really helps to keep me focused, to keep my eyes on the prize, and the food portions appropriately sized.

From the beginning of this project, I've had a strong positive sense that I will definitely reach my goal: change poor lifestyle habits, lose weight, get stronger. As I have gone into the Last Ten Pounds(Maybe) phase of the journey, I'm getting a lot of negative suggestion from well-meaning people about how difficult that last ten pounds can be, about what a struggle I have ahead of me.

I reject that. I reject that any of this journey to care for my Self by caring for my body is a difficult struggle. It is a joyful challenge.

And from the beginning, I've also had this strange recurring thought:
Losing weight should be as easy as gaining it. I'm not saying it is, but I think it should be and I think it can be. And it begins in the head, with thoughts and conscious attention to them.

The idea of losing weight as easy is heresy in the current religion of weight loss. I've never watched a Biggest Loser episode - but I have seen bits and pieces of that and other televised weight loss/fitness shows. The overriding image is of sweat, tears, faces contorted in pain and misery...and buff people yelling "encouragement."

Is it required that we suffer in order to feel that we've accomplished something?

My life won't begin when I reach my goal. My life is now. My life is the journey. And I'm going to cultivate an attitude of joy and excitement for the duration. No suffering. It feels good to eat well, to sleep enough. It feels good to move...it feels even better to move with ease.

I should sweat a little more, get my heart pounding a bit faster on a regular basis. And I will. But I don't need anyone yelling at me. I'll do it and it will feel good.

Fitness Tuesday Update on Wednesday -The Last 10

A day late....my Facebook status yesterday (which was my birthday):

Thank you all for the lovely happy birthday energy! One of my Fitness Project goals was to give myself the birthday present of being 20 lbs lighter - halfway to my ultimate weight loss goal. Well, the gift turned out to be even greater - I'm 3/4 of the way! At the end of Week 19, I've lost another 1.8 lbs, for a grand total of 30.4 lbs lost!


So, I'm heading into that infamous Last Ten Pounds to Goal.

Or is it? My plan was to get to a weight of 135 and assess how I feel and move, how my clothes fit and, yes, look. So it may not really be the Last Ten.

In any case, I've just gotten through a major project (a booth at the 3-day Arts Fest) and I have some temporal space in which to breathe and focus again on my fitness.

I am still not exercising or doing strength training as I want to be. As I should be. That is the toughest thing for me. How many times have I written this here?

I am much more consciously active now, and I do my Tai Chi regularly. But the minimum 30 minutes of cardio 3X plus strength training 3X a week is eluding me.

I've got all the Stuff to do a variety of workouts and exercising: my pedal exerciser, resistance bands, weights....I finally ordered a pump to firm up the 55cm exercise ball that's hanging about the living room. And a book from Amazon:

And yet....I... am... not...... exercising....

Obviously, I am slowly and steadily losing weight doing just what I'm doing. And I feel, well, fabulous! Better than I felt in my thirties!
But if my ultimate goal is fitness and moving into my crone years with health and strength and stamina....then I've got to get more exercise.

I've got to stop saying, "I hate to exercise to exercise."

I think I need to approach this the way I approached changing how I eat - a holistic approach from a variety of directions. I think I've got a good start on that, but one thing I haven't done is use guided imagery/visualization/hypnosis tapes. So that's where I'm going next!

Fitness Tuesday Update - Underwear, Cupcakes

Today's Facebook status:

Tuesday Fitness Journey update: A little scary week, as I didn't log food at all. Didn't look up a single calorie. Didn't use the measuring cups or spoons. In the circus of my weight loss journey, that's walking a tightrope without a net. I'm happy to report, I did not fall. Lost another 1.2 lbs for a grand total at the end of Week 18: 28.6 lbs. Taaaa daaaaaa!

It’s a little scary not counting every single bite and toting it up, but I know I need to be able to judge what and how much to eat without that. I think I got a little more exercise this week, with the emphasis on the “little.” Still...there is the “more.” I’m feeling physically quite well.

I got some new clothes last week - mostly flowy jackets, just ‘cause I love flowy jackets and also because I’m not wanting to get too many new clothes now with nearly 15 more pounds to lose. I believe my flowy jackets will still look nice on me when I reach my goal.

And finally bought new underwear, yes! Lucked out on my favorites: Jockey Elance with covered elastic waist and legs. Original price: $18/3 pair - marked down to $12.99 + an extra 30% off, $9.09 + 20% more off with a store coupon - Final price $7.27 for a package of 3. And I got 3 packages.

Of course, I had no choice about the color (red patterns) and they were French cut, which I probably wouldn’t have chosen. And they are size 6 - which I probably wouldn’t haven’t chosen either. But that was all they had on that sale table - red French cut size 6. At the beginning of this journey I was wearing size 8 and they were feeling tight. I’m not sure I believed that I could comfortably wear just a size larger than I used to wear when I was thin-thin. But I can.

That brings me to the issue of knowing (or not knowing) what size I am. I’m wearing size 8 jeans right now, jeans with a button and zipper. That’s down from size 16...with an elastic waist. I couldn’t even get into a 16 with a waistband. But with the bulk of my fat around my middle, if I put on a pair of pants with a waistband that fit, there would be billowing fabric around my (relatively) skinnier legs.

I’m used to picking sizes with lots of X’s. It was weird to go into the store and bypass those sizes, actually try on an M or two. Mostly I’m comfortable with L’s. And knitting pattern sizes and yarn amounts? That’s a whole other learning curve for me.
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Here’s a picture of a cinnamon cupcake I got at a party on Saturday night. It was made by my friend, Susan Tingley, who has a sweet little business called Caboodle Cupcakes. She makes delicious, interesting cupcake flavors: blueberry, rhubarb.


This picture was taken last night. Yup, I can’t eat it. It’s too sweet. I took one sliver Saturday night and opted to have a different sweet snack:

2 of these snack toasts each spread with a tsp of light creamcheese comes in at about 105 calories (okay, I’m still AWARE of the calories!)

So, Susan, I’m sorry I can’t eat your cupcakes anymore.
But I’m not terribly sorry....

the unrepentant ex-sugar-addict,
Zann